The Ghairat brigade has started taking a weird shape in Pakistan. Even in highly educated liberal families, parents don’t let a girl marry someone she likes. Even girls who have crossed 40s and 30s aren’t allowed to select someone. Now this is confusing; parents are unable to find someone and girl reaches 40s. Then they ask her to do a good job and stay single. “Someone” she liked wasn’t up to their standard and “loagon ko kia dikhayengey” kind person, so parents prefer ego over wisdom and destroy their daughter’s life. If she marries someone during this period, welcome another honor killing or disinheritance from assets and parents’ money. This is alarming. If parents were unable to find someone, why stopping daughter? A girl in 30s and 40s is mature enough to make a decision and she’s not a kid.
This Ghairat Brigade is deactivated when a female goes through sexual harassment at markets and offices. This brigade also keeps quiet when parents fail to find out a suitable match for their daughters. More than five hundred women and girls are killed every year in Pakistan in the name of so called honor, which is an alarming ratio. Women are killed because of bringing “shame” on their families. Honor killing is only a social taboo and social crime that oppresses women and their rights.
A place like ours where arranged marriages have become really difficult because of dowry demands and financial pressures, there is nothing wrong if a girl selects her spouse herself by taking parents and family into confidence and start her life. Mostly girls after getting disappointed with marriage offices and high cash demands of people, get into marriage of their own choice. The so called liberal families are even not free of this honor issue.